Journal of a Private Eye—Tremors in the Earth

In the early AM hours, the inhabitants of the house snored placidly, their gentle breath going in and out with the practiced ease of travelers through a turnstile. Such innocence. Such trusting. Little did they know what dire twist of plot was heading their way.

Suddenly, a rumbling roar erupted from the bowels of the earth, tossing sound sleepers from their bed. They groped about in the dark, trying to find their cell phones so they could open them for light. The husband was quickly dispatched in pajamas to wade through six inches of snow and secure the perimeter of the house. He returned quickly, none the wiser. (The wife made mental note to remind neighbor to keep dog from using yard as bathroom.)

All was quiet.

Had it been a sonic boom? Had a tree fallen on the house? Had the gas company finally discovered that pesky leak a few blocks over?

None of the above.

Earthquake. Pure and simple as the new fallen snow that carpeted the eerie winter night's landscape. Wakeful, the family waited for something more to happen until it did...

Zzzzzzzzzz