The Admiral has decreed that we condemn no food without trying it out first, so tonight we're trying tofurkey. As I see by the underlying dotted red line, not even spell check believes it's a real food. Yes, it has come to this. I find myself wondering, did the tofu want to masquerade as a turkey? Did anyone ask the tofu's opinion before dressing it up in giblets and gravy? (Perhaps toblets would be a more appropriate choice.)
I believe this is a gross violation of the tofu's right to be tofu. In fact, because of the magnitude of such a crime, it's only a matter of time before the tofu police catch up with us all. In fact, I think now would be a perfect time to explore a hostile new planet.