Captain's Blog—Birthday invasion

Stardate: Friday

Will encounter invasion forces at 18:00 hours. Plan to placate them with dinner followed by decorated cupcakes and ice cream, a puppet show, and a craft project.

If we get in over our heads, I plan to call this help line:

1-800-THERE ARE SEVEN LITTLE GIRLS HERE-HELP ME QUICK

Captain's Blog—Admiral's Got KP

Stardate: Monday

Yes, it has come to this. As a personal favor, the Admiral is pealing apples for applesauce as I grade papers, study Physics, and write children's stories. He may be thinking that this is not what he signed on for, but such is the nature of love. It causes you to do things for people even with a cut thumb from the batch on Sunday.

Normal Mom Blog—Practice Makes Perfect, Or at Least Better Than Yesterday

It's time to diversify. Teaching and writing take time, but I haven't had a story sale in awhile, so I've decided to take on a few piano students. The only problem is that when you haven't practiced for twenty years, it shows. So today I practiced. And practiced. And practiced. My brain knew the music. Some of it had been ingrained when I minored in music under the watchful eyes of Dr. Keene. But apparently there was a short somewhere between brain and hands. Also, the technique practices were very quick to produce that unpleasant burning sensation in my forearms. Sigh. This endeavor is going to be a ton of work. Oh well. Nothing ventured; nothing gained.

Captain's Blog—Deep in the Bowels of the Facility

Stardate: Wednesday

We had a near mutiny today when the crew found out there was no hot water. Fortunately, it is easier to find a hot water heater repairman than it is to find a transporter repairman. I was reminded of such a search for repairmen when I found the original log to the space ship Genesis in the bowels of the facility. I was transported back to Faith the Final Frontier in the Omega Quadrant. Those were some fun days!

Captain's Blog—Cookie Vultures at Three O'clock

Stardate: Friday

It became necessary to lay in a supply of chocolate chip cookies today. Almost immediately the cookie vultures, another strange species of this planet, swooped in to get their share. I had to fend them off with a spatula and an oven mitt. Although I sustained no wounds, several cookies were consumed before I could get them into freezer bags.

Normal Mom Blog—How Does Ketchup Get Into Pockets?

There's nothing like a holiday weekend for fun with family.

And laundry.

Weird laundry.

As I pen this literary tribute to laundry, I find myself growing philosophical. For example, I begin to think deep thoughts such as, how, exactly, does ketchup find it's way into a child's jacket pocket? I don't even remember said child wearing said jacket while eating said ketchup. Generally speaking, ketchup, with the help of gravity, tends to drop on a child's front, where it is easily visible and removable. And there were no fries secreted in the pocket. Hmmm.

My eldest daughter pointed out today that laundry is like rabbits. It multiplies while you're not looking. We agreed that this must be the case. How you get seven loads of laundry from one overnight stay at a relative's house when you only packed four small suitcases is beyond me.

Way beyond.

And we came to a second conclusion about laundry and rabbits. It's when they start hopping that you're really in trouble.

Captain's Blog—Sigh. Is the Universe Saved Yet?

Stardate: Friday

Yes, it's finally Friday. But if you'll notice when you're off-planet, there's really no such thing as days, weeks, months, and years. Not of the earth variety that we're used to anyway. Imagine the work-week on Venus. Yikes! One daily rotation takes about 243 of our earth days. Imagine a four day business trip. "I'll see you in about three years, honey."

So I guess you have to look at the bright side. There are only 24 hours in a day on earth, and since you sleep during eight of them, that only leaves about 16 to goof up in. That means that during approximately a third of your life, you can't possibly do anything wrong. On that happy note, have a great weekend! (Oh, by the way, the weekends on Venus are 486 earth days long. See you next year.)