Captain's Blog—Birthday invasion

Stardate: Friday

Will encounter invasion forces at 18:00 hours. Plan to placate them with dinner followed by decorated cupcakes and ice cream, a puppet show, and a craft project.

If we get in over our heads, I plan to call this help line:

1-800-THERE ARE SEVEN LITTLE GIRLS HERE-HELP ME QUICK

Captain's Blog—Admiral's Got KP

Stardate: Monday

Yes, it has come to this. As a personal favor, the Admiral is pealing apples for applesauce as I grade papers, study Physics, and write children's stories. He may be thinking that this is not what he signed on for, but such is the nature of love. It causes you to do things for people even with a cut thumb from the batch on Sunday.

Normal Mom Blog—Practice Makes Perfect, Or at Least Better Than Yesterday

It's time to diversify. Teaching and writing take time, but I haven't had a story sale in awhile, so I've decided to take on a few piano students. The only problem is that when you haven't practiced for twenty years, it shows. So today I practiced. And practiced. And practiced. My brain knew the music. Some of it had been ingrained when I minored in music under the watchful eyes of Dr. Keene. But apparently there was a short somewhere between brain and hands. Also, the technique practices were very quick to produce that unpleasant burning sensation in my forearms. Sigh. This endeavor is going to be a ton of work. Oh well. Nothing ventured; nothing gained.

Captain's Blog—Deep in the Bowels of the Facility

Stardate: Wednesday

We had a near mutiny today when the crew found out there was no hot water. Fortunately, it is easier to find a hot water heater repairman than it is to find a transporter repairman. I was reminded of such a search for repairmen when I found the original log to the space ship Genesis in the bowels of the facility. I was transported back to Faith the Final Frontier in the Omega Quadrant. Those were some fun days!

Captain's Blog—Cookie Vultures at Three O'clock

Stardate: Friday

It became necessary to lay in a supply of chocolate chip cookies today. Almost immediately the cookie vultures, another strange species of this planet, swooped in to get their share. I had to fend them off with a spatula and an oven mitt. Although I sustained no wounds, several cookies were consumed before I could get them into freezer bags.

Normal Mom Blog—How Does Ketchup Get Into Pockets?

There's nothing like a holiday weekend for fun with family.

And laundry.

Weird laundry.

As I pen this literary tribute to laundry, I find myself growing philosophical. For example, I begin to think deep thoughts such as, how, exactly, does ketchup find it's way into a child's jacket pocket? I don't even remember said child wearing said jacket while eating said ketchup. Generally speaking, ketchup, with the help of gravity, tends to drop on a child's front, where it is easily visible and removable. And there were no fries secreted in the pocket. Hmmm.

My eldest daughter pointed out today that laundry is like rabbits. It multiplies while you're not looking. We agreed that this must be the case. How you get seven loads of laundry from one overnight stay at a relative's house when you only packed four small suitcases is beyond me.

Way beyond.

And we came to a second conclusion about laundry and rabbits. It's when they start hopping that you're really in trouble.

Captain's Blog—Sigh. Is the Universe Saved Yet?

Stardate: Friday

Yes, it's finally Friday. But if you'll notice when you're off-planet, there's really no such thing as days, weeks, months, and years. Not of the earth variety that we're used to anyway. Imagine the work-week on Venus. Yikes! One daily rotation takes about 243 of our earth days. Imagine a four day business trip. "I'll see you in about three years, honey."

So I guess you have to look at the bright side. There are only 24 hours in a day on earth, and since you sleep during eight of them, that only leaves about 16 to goof up in. That means that during approximately a third of your life, you can't possibly do anything wrong. On that happy note, have a great weekend! (Oh, by the way, the weekends on Venus are 486 earth days long. See you next year.)

Normal Mom Blog—The Captain is out to lunch

We seem to finally have settled into our routine with school. I am making myself as available as possible to Kathryn and Susan, since Advanced Math has proven to be something of a trial to them. I have suggested for the month of November that both of them, myself, and Dwight participate in the Nanowrimo. The idea behind Nanowrimo is to write a novel in a month. Will it be a good novel? Well, no. It will most likely be hideous since the whole point is to churn out a daily word count, ending in monthly total of 50,000. First drafts are generally pretty awful anyway, but by getting them on paper you have something to work with in the end. (Kathryn and Susan can choose their own monthly total since they would be participating in the Young Writer's Nanowrimo.)

Now it does seem a little crazy that someone chose November for this. I don't know what they were thinking. There's a major holiday near the end of the month that brings relatives out of the woodwork in droves and involves strategically dressing and cooking an enormous turkey with all the fixings. And how is one to do this while making sure one has typed in 1766.66 words that day? I ask you, is this reasonable?

Probably not, but then, I don't think writing an entire novel in a month is reasonable either. But fun? Doable? Yes to both. About 15% of the writers who commit to the Nanowrimo accomplish their goal. Some are even able to sift through the results for a publishable book in time.

Challenge for you: write your novel in the month of November and see what you come up with. I believe there is at least one novel in every person out there. Wouldn't it be fun to see what happens if you write it down?

Captain's Blog—Attack of the Mutant Math Fiends

It's been a rough day at the facility. After we beat back the alien laundry cruiser, we were blindsided by the sinister mutant math fiends. Similar triangle proofs hurled through the air, followed by contrapositives and congruency postulates. One of the ensigns was down and had to be resuscitated with chocolate and promises of a chick-flick on the weekend.